the second half

Extending your hand; Forming lasting relationships

Hello, friends!

It’s practically impossible to listen to a speech, or read a book, magazine or newspaper without hearing a quotation.  Quotations or “quotes,” provide insight, humor or inspiration and fill our daily lives.  While one friend may pride himself on knowing every movie catch-phrase ever uttered, another may appreciate motivational “pearls of wisdom” from positive thinkers such as Zig Ziglar.  One of Zig’s most defining quotes states, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”  This simple, yet powerful sentence speaks volumes about the importance placed on relationships and how these interactions weave throughout everything we do.  Click here for some other “pearls of wisdom” for all conceivable occasions.

Learning to Play Ball

The term “relationship” is rather broad by definition and will apply to many situations.  It can be most easily understood as an association that applies to school, work, family, business ventures, dating, marriage and countless other applications.  Suffice it to say; most every aspect of life involves other human contact!  How one navigates through these interactions will determine the ultimate direction of the relationship and level of acceptance and personal satisfaction gained. 

Reflecting back to the “kickball championship of the world” at age seven, one might be amazed to consider the collaborative effort produced at such a tender age.  Just imagine a herd of fresh-faced children from all over the neighborhood attempting to orchestrate a sporting event.  Without hesitation, a mutual decision is made for the time, date and location of the game AND everyone shows up on time and ready to play!  Within ten minutes, rules are developed, the field is prepped and all players are in position to begin.  An incredible show of teamwork and the game hadn’t even begun!  By extension, it should follow that the country should consider lowering the minimum age for Congress and the Senate to seven!

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

To succeed in a relationship, those involved should be there for the right reasons and with the best intentions for all concerned.  Honesty, caring and compassion are three components that must be in place to receive a positive result.  Here are five other helpful tips;

1.  Understand the parameters of the relationship

All parties should be aware of expectations and boundaries.  All rules or guidelines established should be followed.

2.  Trust and respect the participants

Trust and respect are necessary for the participants to operate and navigate within the relationship.  This support mechanism allows for personal growth and must not be compromised.

3.  Communicate, but listen more then you speak

The Greek philosopher Epictetus once said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”  Utilizing active listening skills can help to correctly understand, interpret and evaluate what is heard.

4.  Focus more on the components and less on the outcome

Empathy can be helpful for understanding a person’s position and the feelings surrounding that position.  Mutual satisfaction may be possible through negotiation, allowing both sides of a dispute to gain something.

5.  Check your emotions at the door

Control of emotions will assist in the forward progress of your association.  Anger, resentment and jealousy tend to be roadblocks and result in erosion of the relationship.  Heated discussions should be tabled until clearer minds can prevail.  Morton C. Ormann, M.D. has an interesting take.

Thinking back to that herd of seven-year olds, I recall an interesting observation.  We played a lot of kick-ball, in many places over several years.  Even at the age of seven, we had our share of confusion, misunderstanding and hurt feelings.  There were tears, accusations and the occasional “stomping off” towards home.  Through all of these life challenges, we respected one another and always remained friends.  I would suggest that this should be the moral of every story!

With that, friends, I’ll leave you with this;

You’ve got to SEE positive to BE positive!

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